My Pursuit To My Intention

My life's circumstances have come to me in many forms and have brought me back to the education system. I now see that it is the state of the unknown circumstances that brought me to see my accomplishments and failures within myself. I wanted unwavering faith in my life and to understand that the calm before the storm was the time to pause and make a plan for my future. The beauty of this state of affairs is how I viewed it. Ultimately, I chose to be positive!

In going back to school, literacy was my phantom. The fear of trying to face it haunted my spirit with despair. My soul had drifted far away from my dreams, the essences of myself seemed to be gone forever!………….. I needed to step into the unknown and to look the demon in the face. I needed to choose to move into a direction of where my unidentified emotions weren't holding me back! I needed a passageway to more freedom in my writings and expand my ability to seek knowledge. The direction was to head back to the education system. I needed unwavering faith to get there!

I had captured these events in my journal; life came and went. I returned to the education system and while being evaluated through the Employment Help Center. I was told that I had the level of a pre-grade 7 student in reading and writing. I then went on through the Literacy Basic Skills Program finished it and then I moved on to St. Michael's and received my grade 12 Diploma.

Unwavering Faith is something that is obtained by the building of ones character! Only by acts of stand-in drama bring about a person's true abilities! There is an author that I have to come to know in going back to school. His name is Paulo Coelho. In one of his amazing works "Eleven Minutes" I came across a quote, which has come to be woven into the fabric of my life. "I can choose either to be a victim of this world or an adventurer in search of treasure. It's all a question of how I view my life" I have come to appreciate that I have a choice in my life's purpose and how I get there!

I see now that the demon was my lack of knowledge, which had nothing to do with my enthusiasm! I should set the record straight on the definition of Enthusiasm. In the dictionary it is defined as "A great excitement for or interest in a subject or cause; Ecstasy arising from supposed possession by a God." I truly believe that we are created in the image of God Himself, that He is the Source in which we are intended to be! We are the seekers of adventure and to be without knowledge is to be without He who has created us! I chose to fight the demon and win victoriously over its grasping ignorance of my potential!

The journey into the discovery of my true potential began about four months before my 40th birthday. It was just after midnight. The fire in the hearth was slowly dimming and the room had soft glow from its ambers. My three daughters had fallen asleep on the couch and large armchair in our living room. My husband had gone to bed. The only sounds that could be heard were the cracking of the flames in the fireplace. I was wide-awake and taking stock of my life's accomplishments, as mothers often do when our children are at the cusp of adulthood! My thoughts were crammed into the moment and I was unable to pin them down. I was uneasy within myself! All that I understood is that I was unhappy with my current self worth! ………. I wanted these three amazing daughters of mine to be proud of me. All I could see is that I was below them in their ongoing education and I knew that it was due to my literacy issues that I was being held back! I no longer wanted my current standing to be held in this place of hopelessness! I wanted the gift of knowledge to be within the circle of enlightenment!

It was that very moment that I remembered feeling I wanted it with all my being. I had unwavering faith; I vowed to God, my three amazing daughters and myself that I would graduate from High school before they did! As the fire grew dim, my heart became so uplifted; it seemed to fill with flames of desire. I knew that I had taken the first step into altering myself. From that moment on, the despair and shame I had lived with for the last 24 years would no longer live in my SOUL!

It was a couple of weeks ago when I came across this old journal and found my commitment in my own handwriting…after reading it, I realized that if you name it, claim it, tame it; it shall come to be…. As of June 6th, 2007 I will graduate! I will graduate before my eldest daughter Megan by 21 full days!

Every story has an introduction, then supporting events, which bring about a change and then a conclusion. My story is no different. The past two years have been filled with challenges of great proportions! In the beginning I had the calm before the storm. The eve of illumination of longing to have knowledge! The confrontation to my circumstances and the enthusiasm of my Soul brought me to where I am today.

My heart is overflowing with gratitude to all of those who were connectors to my intentions and made my dream a reality! Two and half years ago, I felt the unwavering faith (enthusiasm) in my core! I wanted this moment of graduating to be present in my life more than anything in the world and it's finally here!

Liana Crowe

Liana is a warrior. Her overflowing spirit is connected to a source larger than herself. Liana draws clients that feel openly connected to their individual spirit on their journey and are comfortable speaking about their personal growth in those terms.
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Words of Wisdom

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
- Marianne Williamson